


like i've never needed love before

by AellaIrene



Category: between the teeth- imogenedisease
Genre: Alternate Universe- Gender Changes, Always a girl, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 08:12:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2143491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AellaIrene/pseuds/AellaIrene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Chapman is kind of screwed up. Good thing Jackie Lourdes loves her anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like i've never needed love before

"Dyke," a guy on the other team calls Darcy when she's eleven. She doesn't even know what it means, then. It's not like she's ever had anyone to tell her, a best friend to swap dirty words with, an older sibling or cousin or babysitter to explain things. Mary Ann gives her 'the talk', and her mother buys her a book, and gives it to her over the dinner table.

Darcy says thank you, and doesn't tell her that her periods started three months ago.

She learns what a dyke is soon enough.

*  
Before she meets Jackie Lourdes, Darcy knows these things to be true:

1) There is significant opposition to women in the NHL, still. The people who hate her, who spit on her or grope her or just _look_ at her, like she's a piece of meat, it's because she's a woman. Not because of her.

2) Trying to be pretty is a waste of time. The people who matter don't care about pretty: they care about results. Being pretty won't make her friends.

3) She's the best. That makes everything worth it.

Lourdes destroys all three of those certainties in a flash, and doesn't even notice that she's doing it. Darcy just stands there, trying to build something from the wreckage.

*

"You're so hot," Lourdes breathes into her ear, "God, Darce, you're so beautiful--"

Darcy arches against her, feels Lourdes' thigh pressing the seam of her jeans against her clit, and tries not to yowl like a cat in heat, like some sort of whore.

She fails, and Lourdes kisses her, tells her she's gorgeous while Darcy buries her humiliation in getting Lourdes off so hard and fast she goes non-verbal, clutching at Darcy's hair. She looks so fucking gorgeous like that, like something out of the art history class she took because her mother wanted her to get culture, and Darcy wants to make her stay and throw her out, all at once.

*

Darcy is pathetic, when she wants something. She's known it ever since she was a child, unable to stop herself from crying while her mother told her not to be a brat. Romano's girlfriend tells her, very kindly, that she needs to remember that Kurmazov's a married man, and she goes scarlet and avoids him at practice. 

No one ever suggests Lourdes is fucking her teammates, even when she's all over them in photos. Lourdes is one of the guys.

Darcy lies in bed at night, and tears sting at her eyes, and she doesn't know why, because she has almost everything she's ever wanted.

*

Here is something Jackie will not realise for years, if at all: until she came along, the only person who prioritised Darcy was being paid to. Oh, Mary Ann loved Darcy, but still. She got paid to.

If she ever does realise, she will hug Darcy, tug her into her arms and press her mouth open against her neck, and silently curse Darcy's parents. Darcy will have no idea why.

*

That's not true. Darcy features on _several_ (private) would bang lists. Samuels has even said he might not gag her for it.

Darcy's right not to let them buy her cocktails. 75% of them buying her that double strength screwdriver was them thinking she'd be hilarious if she was drunk out of her skull. The other 25%--

Well, they'd have stopped if she'd said 'no'. Probably. Loud bar, not necessarily paying attention to every word coming out of her mouth, not necessarily got her mouth free...

She's right not to let them buy her drinks. 

*

"I have--stuff," Jackie says, cheeks pink as she straddles Darcy. "If you want."

"Stuff," it turns out, is a vibe, and a dildo, and some lube, and--yes. Darcy totally wants, even if she can’t find the words for it, getting lube on the sheets while Jackie honest-to-god _giggles_ , like this is a thing to be laughed about.

*

Dani Riley is a lesbian. Dani Riley is dating Marie Lapointe, and Darcy wants to cry all over again, and doesn't even know why.

Her period comes the next day, and she tries to avoid Lourdes, but Jackie won't let her, drags her out to lunch, and feeds her salad back at hers, kisses her swift as a breath, and Darcy gets her off, and shrugs Jackie's hand off, ignores the way her breasts feel against the cups of her bra, over-sensitive and wanting, because Dani Riley might be dating Marie Lapointe, but Darcy doesn’t want to let Lourdes see her like that, cracked open and sensitive.

*

"I love you," Jackie Lourdes says, when they're still kids, really, fumbling for words and feelings and actions.

Darcy doesn't say it back.

That's okay. They have time.


End file.
